
Welcome to
The Couples Collective
“The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.”
- Esther Perel
The Couples Collective is a unique treatment space that prioritizes the well-being of relationships.
We believe that no-one exists completely independent of others and that our relationships are fundamental to our well-being and quality of life.
Understanding the influence of our relational experiences and achieving interpersonal wellness is critical to our ability to fully participate in the human experience.
If you and your partner are ready to explore a more relational connection, contact us today.
The Process
I.Joint Couples Intake
The first step in the couples therapy process is to have a joint intake appointment. This is an opportunity to identify what is bringing you to couples therapy, share your relationship history and progression, and to identify your joint goals for the process.
II. Individual Couples Intakes
Modeled after the Gottman Method, both partners will have an individual intake appointment with Dr. Allen. The aim of these appointments is to explore personal and familial histories and to identify any pertinent information that will impact the treatment process and approach.
III. Follow Up Appointments
Following these intake procedures, the couple will join back together for follow up appointments on a weekly or biweekly basis. We will implement the identified treatment plan over the course of our sessions.
If additional individual appointments are needed, this will be discussed with the couple.
IV. Treatment Plan Adjustments & Referrals as indicated
As treatment progresses, we will identify necessary adjustments and referrals.
For example, if medication or specialized treatments are needed, these referrals will be discussed as part of the treatment.
The Mission of The Couples Collective is to…
-
Deficient communication is the #1 reason that couples seek therapy. The Couples Collective works with each partner to identify barriers to effective communication in a relationship and to provide skills that will deepen each partner’s understanding of each other.
Common barriers to communication include:
Misunderstandings
Defensiveness
Emotional dysregulation
Lack of validation
Deficient active listening skills
Stonewalling
Stress
We help couples learn to:
Express needs and feelings without blame or criticism
Manage conflict in a constructive, non-damaging way
Listen to each other with empathy
Develop a shared vocabulary to discuss sensitive topics
Gain insight into their communication styles and how to adapt them for more meaningful conversations.
Break negative communication patterns that create frustration or emotional distance.
Build mutual respect and trust through honest, open dialogue.
Ultimately, couples who improve their communication skills can experience a deeper emotional connection, better problem-solving, and greater satisfaction in their relationship.
-
Strong relationships are built on a couple’s ability to be relational, rather than transactional or conditional, with one another.
The Couples Collective provides a supportive environment to improve relational skills, helping partners navigate challenges and strengthen their bond. We teach couples valuable tools to resolve conflict, deepen emotional intimacy, and better understand each other’s needs.
A relational approach emphasizes:
Basic and mutual respect of one another
Behaving in ways that emphasize the wellness of the relationship
Emotional safety
Interdependence and collaboration
-
At The Couples Collective, a primary aim of our work is to help partners gain insight into how their familial and personal histories impact their relational functioning and approach to their partner.
Furthermore, partners will learn skills to increase their insight into their partner through curiosity, validation, and empathic responsiveness.
-
Some research suggests that 60-70% of the conflict that couples face is considered to be “perpetual” or “gridlocked,” meaning the conflict is recurring and without solution.
When couples encounter these perpetual or gridlocked points of conflict, the only way to move through them is with effective communication and relationalism.
At The Couples Collective, we work to identify these perpetual conflict patterns and identify strategies to help partners move through these with more finesse and with less disruption.
-
In order to improve a relationship, each partner needs to hear from the other what they could be doing differently. We work to frame these requests in positive terms (i.e., what your partner needs more of), rather than in negative terms (i.e., what your partner does not want from you). We find that articulating needs in this way gives more clarity and positive results.
Learning to manage symptoms of emotional flooding is crucial for increasing articulation effectively. Within sessions at The Couples Collective, partners will specific learn skills that work for them to increase regulation and improve coping in the face of emotional overwhelm. This will set the stage to allow for more effective conflict resolution and expression of needs.
Finally, couples will learn strategies for active listening and structuring tough conversations to help them hear one another and meet needs more effectively.
-
Many couples seek assistance when faced with life stressors and transitions.
Examples of stressors and transitions that couples commonly seek treatment for:
Cohabitation
Engagement and marriage
Fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum challenges
Parenting differences
Changes in jobs or financial strain
Relocation
Caring for family members and experiences of grief
-
One of the most foundational goals of couples therapy is to improve the ability to recognize dysregulation in yourself, and in your partner, and to use strategies for soothing in order to return to a state of regulation.
-
Many couples preemptively seek counseling as a way of highlighting and capitalizing on their strengths and learning skills to maintain a solid relationship.
Some couples early in their relationship want to learn more about one another and about themselves and doing so through a therapeutic process can be rewarding.
-
Infidelity and betrayal, of any kind, are common reasons that couples seek therapeutic assistance. Couples navigating the impacts of infidelities and betrayals present to therapy at many points in the process.
Whether you are processing the initial discovery of an infidelity or betrayal, are trying to repair, or are questioning how to move forward at all, The Couples Collective strives to meet every couple and partner where they are at.
-
Some couples present to therapy to assist with the amicable separation process. These partners have typically already decided that they no longer would like to continue their relationship and need help formulating a separation in a healthy way.
Theories that inform Dr. Allen’s approach…
-
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Gottman Institute is world famous for its long-term research into relationships and evidence-based process and interventions. Dr. Allen has completed Level 3 of the Gottman Method Couples Therapy trainings and strives to implement the research, theory, and skills into her work with couples.
“You can spend a lifetime being curious about the inner world of your partner, and being brave enough to share your own inner world, and never be done discovering all there is to know about each other. It’s exciting.” - Dr. John Gottman
-
Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
Terrence Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), has made a name for himself by working successfully with couples who are stuck. His theory breaks the rules of traditional therapy and emphasizes self connection and awareness, personal accountability, compassion, intimacy. Dr. Allen often recommends his books The New Rules of Marriage and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship to her clients.
“...changing one's own behavior is a much more promising strategy than insisting on change from the other.” - Terrence Real
-
Emotion Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples develop a more secure and satisfying bond by focusing on underlying emotions and attachment needs. Identifying negative interaction patterns, accessing vulnerable feelings, expressing experiences to each other, and creating a safer, more emotionally responsive connection is the goal of EFCT.
“Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Love also enhances our sense of connection to the larger world. Loving responsiveness is the foundation of a truly compassionate, civilized society.”- Dr. Sue Johnson
-
Interpersonal Neurobiology
Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) is a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel that explores how the mind, brain, and relationships are deeply interconnected and influence each other. It provides a scientific basis for understanding how our social interactions, especially early in life, shape the development of our brain, our overall mental health, and our relational functioning throughout life.
“One of the key practical lessons of modern neuroscience is that the power to direct our attention has within it the power to shape our brain’s firing patterns, as well as the power to shape the architecture of the brain itself.” - Dr. Dan Siegel
-
Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy
Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT), is a couples therapy model that integrates principles from neuroscience, attachment theory, and human arousal to help partners better understand and regulate their interactions. Developed by Stan Tatkin, PACT helps couples move beyond repetitive arguments by focusing on the underlying physiological and emotional responses that drive their conflict.
“Devote yourself to your partner's sense of safety and security and not simply to your idea about what that should be. What may make you feel safe and secure may not be what your partner requires from you.” - Dr. Stan Tatkin